Caring for aging parents

Caregiving Costs

Many families of seniors are facing a serious problem of not only aging parents who need assistance at home with their health problems but how to pay for this invaluable service.

Too often the care of older parents falls on the shoulders of one family member, who is typically a middle-aged married woman, has children at home and quite often has a career or is employed.   Once a family member attempts to care of their parents on their own and without any help from other members of the family, they often develop their own serious health issues and sometimes die within a year due to the stress they are experiencing.

A family can quickly fall into bickering and fighting about how to handle the situation and in addition to this problem, there are the expenses of actually hiring a professional to provide the necessary assistance to the senior who needs help when the family member can no longer manage it on their own.

The fees for such services can vary, but on the average and depending upon if the care is needed 24/7 can be as high as $10,000 a month.  How and who will pay for this?   The family?

Probably not, but what if funds from a reverse loan were used to pay this expense?  Why not utilize the equity in a parent’s home to cover this expense and any additional expenses for their care that may occur as time passes?

See what my clients are saying!

Using the equity in a parent’s home makes good sense for everyone in the family.   The parents will be well taken care of and their family will not have to be overwhelmed with this responsibility, not use their own funds, miss family time or take time off from their professions each time an emergency comes up with their parents.

In conclusion, it is an excellent option to pay for the fees of caregiving and it is also a solution to keep families from using their own funds to pay for a caregiver, but also to protect their own health and the unity of their family.

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The Costs of Care Giving

As the Boomer population ages and the reality begins to loom that at some point they may need someone to provide them with “care giving” but no one wants to talk about this possibility happening to them.

But as we age and I’m going to be 72 myself  ( Yikes, when did that happen?) our bodies are going to start to give us trouble as we begin our slide down the slope of aging and at some point, we may need help.

Ideally the Boomer generation has taken better care of themselves then our own parents did and we certainly are much more active than their generation who smoked, didn’t exercise and had high fat diets.

But at the least, they didn’t have as much stress in their lives as we seem to have in our’s and their generation lived a much slower daily pace compared to the hectic lifestyles so many of us have in this period of time.

Hopefully those of you who are reading this post and are of a “certain age”, will manage to dodge falling apart and having to rely on a care giver.   But what happens if you need one and you don’t have Long-Term-Care Insurance?

Medicare will not pay for this service in case you were under the impression it would, you have to pay for it.

You will have to rely on your own retirement funds if you happen to have any and pay a professional care giver or rely on family members to take care of you.   And that’s a terrible option.

There are two kinds of “costs” in this equation, the actual monthly expense that can run $4000 or more each month while you are helpless or the physiological  and turmoil and burden to your family members who will be overwhelmed by the responsibly of taking care of you.

And if you don’t have enough funds to cover this expense, it will be up to your children to pay for it and in many family situations, the adult children will fight among one another and it typically will fall to one of the children to pay for all the expenses and also to attend to your needs.  And the one’s who refuse to help in any capacity, will disappear.

As for paying for the care of a professional, licensed and Bonded care giver that expense could be paid by the funds from a reverse loan and it will become a safe and valuable option for money to cover the costs and relieve the adult children from using their own funds to pay for your care.

It’s something to think about, utilize one’s equity to pay for your own needs and not rely on your adult children and keep your dignity and keep your family intact.

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Are You a Caregiver?

My blog is about Reverse loans and providing the latest information about them but it is also a resource for people who are seeking information about other issues of aging and due to the fact that I have a very large resource of professionals that provide services to senors and their families, I like to share that once in awhile on this site.

Whether they need a really great Estate Planning Attorney,  help with a parent who has Alzheimer’s disease, in home care giving or any of the other issues that families and or the senior’s are faced with each day.  I have the resources and information at hand.

Unfortunately there are many adult children who are taking care of their parents needs each day and at the same time, they may be working full-time   ( and taking time off from their jobs because of emergencies with their parents), married and still have young children at home that need their attention.

They are referred to as “The Sandwich Generation”.

Soon the burden of taking care of their parents becomes far too difficult and stressful and quite frequently results in them developing a serious illness.   And it is not unusual for them to actually die before their parents passes, due to the enormous psychological stress associated with the demands of whatever the situation may be with their parents.

It’s important for them to take care of themselves and if at all possible, pay someone who is a licensed professional to relieve them of the burden.  It is a burden and their should be no guilt about letting someone else take care of your parents, as no one is qualified to do the job except for a professional who is trained to handle the seriousness of being a caregiver.

Please read the description below from Coast Caregiver Resource Center if you find yourself overwhelmed, angry, exhausted and feeling helpless and hopeless in trying to do the best that you can for your parents.

Enjoy your time with your parents and let go of any feelings of guilt about not being with them all of the time.   You have a life, too.

They are a wonderful resource for help when you need it the most.


Coast Caregiver Resource Center (CCRC) is one of eleven regions in the statewide non-profit California Caregiver Resource Centers that was created over thirty years ago to provide support services for family caregivers of persons with brain/cognitive impairment, such as all dementias, Parkinson’s and Huntington’s diseases, stroke, brain injury and many more. Services include assessments of the caregiving situation and needs, action plans, educational information, resource referrals, ongoing consultations, support groups, and emotional support.

CCRC includes three counties, Ventura, Santa Barbara, and San Luis Obispo, with family consultants in each county with masters’ degrees in related fields. Each region has a host employer, and CCRC’s is Cottage Health in Santa Barbara. CCRC is a program of Cottage Rehabilitation Hospital. Contact may be made through the main office in Santa Barbara at 888-488-6555 or

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Forbes Magazine and Planning for Aging Parents

Forbes magazine published and article on June 16th. about the looming issue of having to take care of aging parents who may have not prepared for their older years.   They may not have enough funds saved and invested to last the rest of their lifetimes and it is falling on their adult children to  manage their care and in many cases, financially supporting them.

This has the potential to be very, very stressful for the family and there is the constant worry of running out of money, not to mention the cost of emotional and physical health to the caregivers.

This is a very serious and real crisis that it just beginning to unfold.   The Forbes article was condensed into a shorter version to read and I am sharing below.

Forbes: Reverse Mortgage Can Help With Planning for Aging Parents
Posted ByElizabeth EckerOn June 16, 2015 @ 2:01 pm In News,Reverse Mortgage | No Comments

“Aging parents can be a major retirement risk even to those who are seemingly on track in preparing for their later years. The care for aging parents can be an additional consideration to supporting children, and can come with new burdens, both financial and emotional, Forbes columnist Jamie Hopkins writes this week.

Among major challenges associated with aging parents are time, cost, work and health, Hopkins writes. Caregiving can be time consuming and expensive. Plus, work-life balance can be difficult, or impossible, and the health of the caregiver is a major factor that many families are not prepared for.

One of the potential solutions addressed by the column: a reverse mortgage.”

I will post the remainder of this summery in a following post.


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